








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 318 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4106 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3953 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3153 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4048 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4139 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,364,170 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1080 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Larsomart | 61% | 28 |
| #5 | megalopolik | 60% | 48 |
| #6 | Schnegge_V3 | 59% | 32 |
| #7 | Sparkyy | 54% | 105 |
| #8 | az8 | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparkyy | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Larsomart | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | megalopolik | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | machtnix. | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Schnegge_V3 | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sparkyy | 258 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | megalopolik | 174 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Erosive | 147 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Schnegge_V3 | 125 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | az8 | 106 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | +5.53 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | megalopolik | +4.02 | 94 | 65 |
| #3 | az8 | +2.78 | 75 | 65 |
| #4 | Sparkyy | +2.70 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | Schnegge_V3 | +0.69 | 68 | 68 |





