








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 522 matches | ||
| Faceit | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6164 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7236 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8674 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7161 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,121,820 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1684 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heros5k | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | megalopolik | 63% | 133 |
| #3 | Erosive | 60% | 225 |
| #4 | machtnix. | 58% | 118 |
| #5 | Yamakoto | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hans Wurst | 54% | 105 |
| #8 | rapala | 53% | 74 |
| #9 | Schnegge_V3 | 51% | 214 |
| #10 | m0lteNN シ | 47% | 95 |
| #11 | Larsomart | 47% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | megalopolik | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | m0lteNN シ | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Larsomart | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Erosive | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | machtnix. | 7 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | 932 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #2 | megalopolik | 558 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #3 | Schnegge_V3 | 537 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | m0lteNN シ | 365 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #5 | Hans Wurst | 274 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | +3.42 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | megalopolik | +2.03 | 91 | 64 |
| #3 | Sparkyy | +1.91 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | Heros5k | +1.76 | 81 | 56 |
| #5 | Schnegge_V3 | +0.49 | 66 | 70 |





