








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1150 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1574 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1176 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1020 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $910,260 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Wally | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Natural.Born.Tweaker | 53% | 59 |
| #3 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | Mysticus | 47% | 91 |
| #5 | Jerome Requois | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Natural.Born.Tweaker | 53% | 59 |
| #3 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | Mysticus | 47% | 91 |
| #5 | Jerome Requois | 31% | 16 |
| #6 | Joona "bullman" Tefke | 22% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mysticus | 16 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Jerome Requois | 4 | 0.0151 |
| #4 | Natural.Born.Tweaker | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | BOT Wally | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mysticus | 584 | 0.31 | 12 min |
| #2 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 122 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jerome Requois | 74 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #4 | Joona "bullman" Tefke | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Natural.Born.Tweaker | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enga-E | +3.74 | 79 | 46 |
| #2 | BOT Wally | +3.16 | 70 | 61 |
| #3 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | +0.52 | 62 | 53 |
| #4 | Mysticus | -0.53 | 38 | 61 |
| #5 | Jerome Requois | -0.56 | 41 | 34 |





