








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4455 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3917 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2462 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1448 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,767 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Wally | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Natural.Born.Tweaker | 52% | 66 |
| #3 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 49% | 156 |
| #4 | Enga-E | 47% | 91 |
| #5 | Jorma Mällinen | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Natural.Born.Tweaker | 52% | 66 |
| #3 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 49% | 156 |
| #4 | Enga-E | 47% | 91 |
| #5 | Jorma Mällinen | 46% | 54 |
| #6 | Joona "bullman" Tefke | 14% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 28 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Jorma Mällinen | 17 | 0.0164 |
| #3 | Enga-E | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Natural.Born.Tweaker | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | BOT Wally | 3 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 239 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Enga-E | 174 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jorma Mällinen | 152 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Joona "bullman" Tefke | 50 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Natural.Born.Tweaker | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Wally | +2.87 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Enga-E | +2.41 | 79 | 44 |
| #3 | Jorma Mällinen | +1.11 | 71 | 34 |
| #4 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | +1.05 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | Mysticus | -0.47 | 41 | 63 |





