










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 438 | 23% |
| Smokes | 522 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 667 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 264 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,836 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓓𝓲𝓭𝓭𝔂 | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | BOT Wally | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Jorma Mällinen | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Enga-E | 53% | 59 |
| #5 | Mysticus | 52% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 47% | 91 |
| #7 | 𝒜𝓁𝒾𝒸𝒾𝒶 | 38% | 24 |
| #8 | Joona "bullman" Tefke | 26% | 27 |
| #9 | SSquirrel_69 | 25% | 8 |
| #10 | Jerome Requois | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 18 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Mysticus | 13 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Enga-E | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | 𝒜𝓁𝒾𝒸𝒾𝒶 | 6 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | Jorma Mällinen | 6 | 0.0135 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mysticus | 411 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #2 | 𝒜𝓁𝒾𝒸𝒾𝒶 | 185 | 0.37 | 3 min |
| #3 | Nautica (naughty nigga) | 160 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Jerome Requois | 118 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #5 | Enga-E | 110 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Wally | +4.16 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | Enga-E | +4.08 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | SSquirrel_69 | +3.32 | 45 | 47 |
| #4 | Jorma Mällinen | +3.23 | 72 | 37 |
| #5 | 𝓓𝓲𝓭𝓭𝔂 | +2.83 | 75 | 21 |





