








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2327 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,100 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1463 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2073 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1729 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 835 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,522 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Wally | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | 𝓓𝓲𝓭𝓭𝔂 | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Jorma Mällinen | 58% | 52 |
| #4 | Enga-E | 51% | 84 |
| #5 | Mysticus | 49% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mysticus | 49% | 156 |
| #6 | Natural.Born.Tweaker | 47% | 91 |
| #7 | 𝒜𝓁𝒾𝒸𝒾𝒶 | 46% | 28 |
| #8 | Jerome Requois | 46% | 41 |
| #9 | Joona "bullman" Tefke | 24% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mysticus | 40 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Jorma Mällinen | 24 | 0.0246 |
| #3 | Jerome Requois | 20 | 0.0256 |
| #4 | 𝒜𝓁𝒾𝒸𝒾𝒶 | 10 | 0.0168 |
| #5 | Enga-E | 9 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mysticus | 906 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #2 | Jerome Requois | 288 | 0.37 | 5 min |
| #3 | 𝒜𝓁𝒾𝒸𝒾𝒶 | 223 | 0.37 | 4 min |
| #4 | Enga-E | 154 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jorma Mällinen | 135 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Wally | +3.31 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | 𝓓𝓲𝓭𝓭𝔂 | +3.26 | 70 | 36 |
| #3 | Enga-E | +2.89 | 81 | 48 |
| #4 | Jorma Mällinen | +2.24 | 75 | 33 |
| #5 | 𝒜𝓁𝒾𝒸𝒾𝒶 | +1.27 | 35 | 56 |





