








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 163 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1075 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1208 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 915 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1133 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $687,515 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OsMo | 51% | 72 |
| #2 | vorss@ | 46% | 65 |
| #3 | The Chosen One | 45% | 104 |
| #4 | Tzuggi | 45% | 82 |
| #5 | M0Mo | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | M0Mo | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | samppa | 44% | 25 |
| #7 | Obama McLaren | 42% | 19 |
| #8 | Huhta | 36% | 72 |
| #9 | wgg | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huhta | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Tzuggi | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | wgg | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | OsMo | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | M0Mo | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Chosen One | 273 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Tzuggi | 235 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Huhta | 210 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | vorss@ | 172 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | M0Mo | 136 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Chosen One | +3.21 | 95 | 64 |
| #2 | Obama McLaren | +1.68 | 78 | 44 |
| #3 | Tzuggi | +0.68 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | M0Mo | -0.43 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | Timori1 | -0.78 | 71 | 53 |





