








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2500 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1767 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3850 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2941 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,115 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.KenKen | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | 50% | 215 |
| #3 | тотопотато | 49% | 156 |
| #4 | Elex | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | MimNey | 47% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | тотопотато | 49% | 156 |
| #4 | Elex | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | MimNey | 47% | 97 |
| #6 | Baphomet | 44% | 117 |
| #7 | Tess | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | 24 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Baphomet | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | MimNey | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Mr.KenKen | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoodGuyRobin | 421 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | тотопотато | 299 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Baphomet | 221 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | MimNey | 197 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mr.KenKen | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | +2.92 | 62 | 51 |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | +0.59 | 42 | 73 |
| #3 | MimNey | +0.16 | 33 | 54 |
| #4 | Ivory | -0.27 | 37 | 67 |
| #5 | Elex | -1.30 | 39 | 54 |





