








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 674 | 21% |
| Smokes | 995 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 882 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 650 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $241,173 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | 51% | 96 |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | 49% | 118 |
| #3 | Ivory | 47% | 97 |
| #4 | Baphomet | 35% | 77 |
| #5 | Tess | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | 51% | 96 |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | 49% | 118 |
| #3 | Ivory | 47% | 97 |
| #4 | Baphomet | 35% | 77 |
| #5 | Tess | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Ivory | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Baphomet | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | GoodGuyRobin | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoodGuyRobin | 232 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ivory | 171 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | тотопотато | 152 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Baphomet | 152 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Tess | 21 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | +3.24 | 58 | 52 |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | +0.56 | 41 | 74 |
| #3 | Ivory | +0.02 | 37 | 70 |
| #4 | MimNey | -0.44 | 31 | 55 |
| #5 | Tess | -2.54 | 25 | 51 |





