








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1104 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 649 | 19% |
| Smokes | 826 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1190 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $437,695 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tess | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | тотопотато | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | GoodGuyRobin | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | Ivory | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Baphomet | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tess | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | тотопотато | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | GoodGuyRobin | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | Ivory | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Baphomet | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoodGuyRobin | 11 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | тотопотато | 10 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | Ivory | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Baphomet | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | 146 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ivory | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Baphomet | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tess | 22 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | +3.69 | 67 | 55 |
| #2 | Elex | +0.69 | 43 | 55 |
| #3 | GoodGuyRobin | +0.43 | 33 | 70 |
| #4 | Ivory | +0.08 | 31 | 66 |
| #5 | Tess | -1.03 | 27 | 62 |





