








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2636 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5517 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3894 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3361 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,168,096 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 745 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.KenKen | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | Elex | 53% | 68 |
| #3 | тотопотато | 50% | 253 |
| #4 | Ivory | 50% | 215 |
| #5 | MimNey | 49% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | тотопотато | 50% | 253 |
| #4 | Ivory | 50% | 215 |
| #5 | MimNey | 49% | 118 |
| #6 | Tess | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | Baphomet | 41% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | 43 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Ivory | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Baphomet | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | MimNey | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Elex | 5 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | 542 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ivory | 458 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | Baphomet | 331 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | MimNey | 231 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Mr.KenKen | 78 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | +2.80 | 62 | 51 |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | +0.34 | 41 | 73 |
| #3 | Ivory | -0.22 | 37 | 66 |
| #4 | MimNey | -0.37 | 31 | 55 |
| #5 | Elex | -1.10 | 39 | 54 |





