








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 782 | 25% |
| Smokes | 784 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 758 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 810 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $204,801 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tess | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Baphomet | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Elex | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | GoodGuyRobin | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | Ivory | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Baphomet | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Elex | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | GoodGuyRobin | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | Ivory | 52% | 29 |
| #6 | тотопотато | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoodGuyRobin | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | тотопотато | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Ivory | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Baphomet | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ivory | 97 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | тотопотато | 95 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | GoodGuyRobin | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Baphomet | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tess | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | +3.20 | 58 | 52 |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | +1.22 | 46 | 71 |
| #3 | Ivory | +0.24 | 32 | 66 |
| #4 | Elex | -0.29 | 46 | 61 |
| #5 | Mr.KenKen | -0.79 | 51 | 63 |





