








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3059 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1798 | 24% |
| Smokes | 848 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 3025 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1773 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,781 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elex | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | MimNey | 51% | 96 |
| #3 | GoodGuyRobin | 50% | 253 |
| #4 | Ivory | 49% | 156 |
| #5 | Mr.KenKen | 48% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | GoodGuyRobin | 50% | 253 |
| #4 | Ivory | 49% | 156 |
| #5 | Mr.KenKen | 48% | 31 |
| #6 | Tess | 40% | 20 |
| #7 | Baphomet | 40% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoodGuyRobin | 20 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Ivory | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Baphomet | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | MimNey | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Mr.KenKen | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoodGuyRobin | 499 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | Ivory | 308 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Baphomet | 233 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | MimNey | 196 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mr.KenKen | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | тотопотато | +2.92 | 62 | 51 |
| #2 | GoodGuyRobin | -0.17 | 41 | 72 |
| #3 | Ivory | -0.25 | 39 | 67 |
| #4 | Tess | -0.30 | 25 | 59 |
| #5 | MimNey | -0.37 | 33 | 54 |





