








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 202 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2383 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2993 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2168 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2942 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $471,973 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | what4ver | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | bob | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | Hurrick | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Mears | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Mojito | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Rasta Smurf | 45% | 47 |
| #10 | Handy | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | 09manny90 | 33% | 18 |
| #12 | Mykolkaaa | 33% | 24 |
| #13 | ShortNSimple | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handy | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Mykolkaaa | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Teno | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Mojito | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | bob | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaSaTo | 272 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | bob | 239 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #3 | Mykolkaaa | 124 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mojito | 116 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Teno | 116 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handy | +1.61 | 82 | 36 |
| #2 | ShortNSimple | +1.06 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | what4ver | +1.03 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | Rasta Smurf | +0.97 | 55 | 50 |
| #5 | Hiro | +0.23 | 72 | 58 |





