








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 138 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1869 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2161 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1646 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1848 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,081 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | what4ver | 63% | 86 |
| #2 | bob | 56% | 71 |
| #3 | nax =D | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | ben | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | Hiro | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bob | 56% | 71 |
| #3 | nax =D | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | ben | 51% | 57 |
| #5 | Hiro | 47% | 45 |
| #6 | thyran.exe | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ben | 11 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | nax =D | 10 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | bob | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | thyran.exe | 3 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | what4ver | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | 419 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #2 | ben | 252 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | nax =D | 191 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | what4ver | 177 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hiro | 135 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teno | +1.46 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | what4ver | +1.27 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | nax =D | +0.79 | 93 | 64 |
| #4 | ben | +0.30 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | Hiro | -0.27 | 63 | 58 |





