








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,256 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 319 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1011 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 527 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 399 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,228 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Head of IT | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | marchmellow | 51% | 157 |
| #3 | Charles | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | Krbox | 46% | 92 |
| #5 | Lympt | 45% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lympt | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | marchmellow | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Krbox | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | jungle juice | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Head of IT | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marchmellow | 419 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Krbox | 282 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lympt | 150 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | jungle juice | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Charles | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jungle juice | +4.15 | 55 | 55 |
| #2 | marchmellow | +4.11 | 54 | 62 |
| #3 | Charles | +1.32 | 45 | 42 |
| #4 | kyliano345 | +0.61 | 70 | 30 |
| #5 | Head of IT | -2.04 | 17 | 49 |





