








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2810 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2115 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2258 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2499 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,096,450 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 938 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coolfool | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | SoUrC3y | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | der Dämon | 53% | 70 |
| #4 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 48% | 212 |
| #5 | caribah | 48% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 48% | 212 |
| #5 | caribah | 48% | 205 |
| #6 | PointDexter | 45% | 29 |
| #7 | DAMON VALOUR | 42% | 45 |
| #8 | bonyy | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | caribah | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | SoUrC3y | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | der Dämon | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | coolfool | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 1021 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #2 | caribah | 757 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #3 | SoUrC3y | 231 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | der Dämon | 228 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | DAMON VALOUR | 112 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rudy | +1.79 | 73 | 64 |
| #2 | caribah | +0.28 | 58 | 73 |
| #3 | der Dämon | -0.21 | 43 | 66 |
| #4 | coolfool | -0.22 | 39 | 56 |
| #5 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | -0.37 | 74 | 71 |





