








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1663 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2357 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1920 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 799 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1350 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,574 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonyy | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | KAzemonsTA™ | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | giovanni chintu giorgio | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | 死σтυяαи | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | der Dämon | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | caribah | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | SoUrC3y | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Rudy | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | coolfool | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 513 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | caribah | 372 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | SoUrC3y | 277 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Rudy | 98 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | NeR0166 | 53 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 死σтυяαи | +3.59 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | Rudy | +1.66 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | CHomCHom ka bacha | +1.27 | 85 | 71 |
| #4 | der Dämon | +0.59 | 49 | 58 |
| #5 | DAMON VALOUR | +0.50 | 61 | 62 |





