








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1824 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10939 | 47% |
| Smokes | 5340 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2408 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 4592 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,433,365 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nilla | 17 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | der Dämon | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Maxie❤ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Dr. Strain | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 572 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | der Dämon | 544 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | nilla | 495 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | caribah | 484 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #5 | NeR0166 | 258 | 0.24 | 7 min |





