








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1050 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 563 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9293 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9179 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5915 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6701 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,553,436 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1957 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coolfool | 54% | 162 |
| #2 | SoUrC3y | 52% | 122 |
| #3 | PointDexter | 50% | 64 |
| #4 | KAzemonsTA™ | 48% | 132 |
| #5 | caribah | 48% | 442 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | bonyy | 43% | 65 |
| #12 | Sukh | 42% | 77 |
| #13 | ChampaChameli | 41% | 37 |
| #14 | MindGoblin | 40% | 55 |
| #15 | Epoch | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rudy | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | caribah | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Sukh | 11 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | 死σтυяαи | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | SoUrC3y | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caribah | 1742 | 0.18 | 51 min |
| #2 | SoUrC3y | 511 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | Rudy | 465 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | der Dämon | 401 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | DAMON VALOUR | 379 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 死σтυяαи | +2.68 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | Rudy | +1.46 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | fume | +1.35 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | MindGoblin | +0.83 | 67 | 43 |
| #5 | caribah | +0.79 | 61 | 74 |





