








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 876 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 214 matches | ||
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8863 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6914 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3548 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5344 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,719,242 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rudy | 53% | 70 |
| #2 | KAzemonsTA™ | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | commun1ty | 51% | 37 |
| #4 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 46% | 136 |
| #5 | caribah | 46% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nilla | 26 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Dr. Strain | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | SoUrC3y | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | caribah | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nilla | 1076 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | Dr. Strain | 608 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #3 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 538 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | SoUrC3y | 512 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #5 | caribah | 503 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nilla | +2.74 | 68 | 73 |
| #2 | Rudy | +2.10 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | der Dämon | +1.31 | 53 | 66 |
| #4 | caribah | +0.80 | 57 | 73 |
| #5 | commun1ty | +0.36 | 71 | 51 |





