








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 777 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 739 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,193 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5301 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7074 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5981 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5837 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,721,204 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rudy | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 54% | 162 |
| #3 | PointDexter | 54% | 143 |
| #4 | caribah | 51% | 185 |
| #5 | Parad0x | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 54% | 162 |
| #3 | PointDexter | 54% | 143 |
| #4 | caribah | 51% | 185 |
| #5 | Parad0x | 47% | 53 |
| #6 | der Dämon | 46% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | caribah | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | der Dämon | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Rudy | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | PointDexter | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caribah | 750 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | 750 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | PointDexter | 321 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | der Dämon | 225 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rudy | 107 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rudy | +1.86 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | caribah | +1.33 | 61 | 74 |
| #3 | Giovanni "CUTIE" Giorgio | +0.39 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | coolfool | +0.27 | 53 | 59 |
| #5 | der Dämon | -0.26 | 49 | 63 |





