








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




116 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1216 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1438 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1232 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1085 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,099 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 554 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky Francis | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | Varkin | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Ockyway Oscar | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Mills | 52% | 154 |
| #5 | Warned_u | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Booman | 45% | 193 |
| #7 | NEDLE | 39% | 51 |
| #8 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | 37% | 120 |
| #9 | Dyslexiclad | 33% | 43 |
| #10 | 12345casey12345 | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booman | 85 | 0.0234 |
| #2 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | 52 | 0.0226 |
| #3 | NEDLE | 23 | 0.0230 |
| #4 | Freaky Francis | 20 | 0.0186 |
| #5 | 12345casey12345 | 11 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booman | 381 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mills | 294 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | NEDLE | 80 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Warned_u | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Varkin | 31 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warned_u | +3.33 | 84 | 30 |
| #2 | Freaky Francis | +2.95 | 76 | 35 |
| #3 | Mills | +2.68 | 63 | 60 |
| #4 | meatloaf104 | +2.52 | 71 | 36 |
| #5 | Varkin | -0.20 | 56 | 52 |





