








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




134 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 95 | 15% |
| Smokes | 120 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 292 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 148 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $434,043 of utility $48 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 733 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky Francis | 53% | 86 |
| #2 | Varkin | 43% | 49 |
| #3 | Warned_u | 43% | 136 |
| #4 | Mills | 39% | 131 |
| #5 | DiceLodedDiper | 38% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | meatloaf104 | 37% | 120 |
| #9 | NEDLE | 36% | 67 |
| #10 | 12345casey12345 | 34% | 108 |
| #11 | Dyslexiclad | 32% | 114 |
| #12 | fireninja132 | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booman | 109 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | meatloaf104 | 55 | 0.0241 |
| #3 | Freaky Francis | 21 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | 12345casey12345 | 20 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | NEDLE | 19 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booman | 536 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mills | 279 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | meatloaf104 | 204 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Warned_u | 142 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | NEDLE | 79 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky Francis | +4.90 | 82 | 39 |
| #2 | Warned_u | +4.28 | 86 | 32 |
| #3 | Mills | +3.53 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | meatloaf104 | +3.12 | 73 | 38 |
| #5 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | +0.45 | 42 | 10 |





