








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2069 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2752 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1475 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 614 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,055,137 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 538 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crispy_Waffle4 | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Warned_u | 59% | 108 |
| #3 | Freaky Francis | 58% | 52 |
| #4 | meatloaf104 | 52% | 154 |
| #5 | Varkin | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | 39% | 131 |
| #12 | fireninja132 | 38% | 26 |
| #13 | DiceLodedDiper | 30% | 20 |
| #14 | ryan :) | 29% | 24 |
| #15 | Dyslexiclad | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meatloaf104 | 48 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Booman | 40 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | 25 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | NEDLE | 18 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | Ockyway Oscar | 16 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booman | 294 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | meatloaf104 | 286 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | NEDLE | 106 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ockyway Oscar | 96 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Warned_u | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warned_u | +3.16 | 83 | 42 |
| #2 | Freaky Francis | +3.13 | 78 | 37 |
| #3 | Mills | +3.00 | 65 | 58 |
| #4 | meatloaf104 | +1.94 | 69 | 38 |
| #5 | Crispy_Waffle4 | +1.54 | 42 | 35 |





