








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 756 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1032 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 548 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 598 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,543 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1006 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mills | 59% | 108 |
| #2 | Varkin | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | Freaky Francis | 53% | 55 |
| #4 | meatloaf104 | 48% | 66 |
| #5 | 12345casey12345 | 45% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 12345casey12345 | 45% | 51 |
| #6 | Booman | 44% | 108 |
| #7 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | 43% | 136 |
| #8 | NEDLE | 34% | 53 |
| #9 | Dyslexiclad | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booman | 46 | 0.0208 |
| #2 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | 43 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | meatloaf104 | 33 | 0.0256 |
| #4 | Freaky Francis | 18 | 0.0163 |
| #5 | NEDLE | 16 | 0.0153 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booman | 272 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mills | 211 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | meatloaf104 | 121 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | NEDLE | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Varkin | 20 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warned_u | +3.37 | 84 | 34 |
| #2 | Freaky Francis | +2.91 | 78 | 38 |
| #3 | Mills | +2.64 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | meatloaf104 | +0.67 | 67 | 29 |
| #5 | Booman | -1.00 | 56 | 42 |





