








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 394 | 46% |
| Smokes | 157 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 233 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 75 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $113,129 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky Francis | 47% | 34 |
| #2 | Mills | 41% | 64 |
| #3 | meatloaf104 | 39% | 51 |
| #4 | 12345casey12345 | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | 36% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Ockyway Oscar | 33% | 9 |
| #9 | Dyslexiclad | 27% | 15 |
| #10 | fireninja132 | 22% | 18 |
| #11 | Varkin | 22% | 27 |
| #12 | DiceLodedDiper | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booman | 36 | 0.0264 |
| #2 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | 31 | 0.0228 |
| #3 | meatloaf104 | 28 | 0.0283 |
| #4 | Freaky Francis | 12 | 0.0179 |
| #5 | Warned_u | 7 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booman | 169 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mills | 140 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | meatloaf104 | 102 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Warned_u | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Varkin | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warned_u | +3.83 | 81 | 32 |
| #2 | Freaky Francis | +3.03 | 72 | 37 |
| #3 | Mills | +2.62 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | meatloaf104 | +2.45 | 71 | 26 |
| #5 | Booman | -0.98 | 52 | 39 |





