








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




170 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4430 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2871 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2776 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2034 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 979 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,661,767 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4671 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freaky Francis | 59% | 91 |
| #2 | Mills | 46% | 143 |
| #3 | meatloaf104 | 45% | 193 |
| #4 | Warned_u | 44% | 108 |
| #5 | Varkin | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | 93 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | meatloaf104 | 85 | 0.0236 |
| #3 | Freaky Francis | 27 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | NEDLE | 22 | 0.0164 |
| #5 | DiceLodedDiper | 18 | 0.0126 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meatloaf104 | 302 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Mills | 298 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Warned_u | 107 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | NEDLE | 96 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dyslexiclad | 49 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Warned_u | +3.94 | 84 | 31 |
| #2 | Freaky Francis | +3.88 | 78 | 38 |
| #3 | Mills | +3.30 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | meatloaf104 | +2.92 | 73 | 36 |
| #5 | Cornelius Chugachoo Applebottom | +0.22 | 43 | 10 |





