








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2292 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2899 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2244 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2103 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2090 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $503,906 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazzle | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Good Boy | 61% | 69 |
| #3 | HAXTON | 58% | 72 |
| #4 | Spider | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Cal | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JoeP | 52% | 25 |
| #7 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | 45% | 69 |
| #8 | bid | 45% | 29 |
| #9 | infopeek | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | delRE | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | infopeek | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Good Boy | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Cal | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | bid | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | 224 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | HAXTON | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | bid | 148 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Good Boy | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | infopeek | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kas | +1.64 | 68 | 73 |
| #2 | bid | +1.31 | 86 | 75 |
| #3 | Spider | +1.24 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | Cal | +0.81 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | -0.17 | 69 | 58 |





