








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2248 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2222 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2074 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2123 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,247,599 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryad | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | HAXTON | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Dracula | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | Malaka | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | Good Boy | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | delRE | 46% | 128 |
| #8 | ✪ kas | 43% | 37 |
| #9 | Jappet | 43% | 74 |
| #10 | Lumi | 33% | 18 |
| #11 | JoeP | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jappet | 24 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | delRE | 23 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | bid | 19 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Dracula | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | Malaka | 7 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bid | 631 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | delRE | 418 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jappet | 243 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✪ kas | 116 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dracula | 92 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ryad | +3.48 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | ✪ kas | +2.07 | 71 | 75 |
| #3 | bid | +2.01 | 89 | 75 |
| #4 | HAXTON | +1.42 | 70 | 68 |
| #5 | Dracula | +1.38 | 74 | 51 |





