








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,298 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1640 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2167 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1488 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2003 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,929 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bid | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | Spider | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Good Boy | 63% | 96 |
| #4 | ✪ kas | 58% | 72 |
| #5 | infopeek | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪ kas | 58% | 72 |
| #5 | infopeek | 58% | 19 |
| #6 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | 56% | 41 |
| #7 | Cal | 55% | 47 |
| #8 | JoeP | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Good Boy | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Cal | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kas | 438 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| #2 | Good Boy | 189 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | 145 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cal | 87 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | bid | 57 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kas | +1.88 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | Cal | +1.22 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | Spider | +1.11 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | bid | +0.82 | 82 | 82 |
| #5 | HAXTON | +0.51 | 74 | 65 |





