








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1218 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1327 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1034 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1204 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $381,033 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HAXTON | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | JoeP | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Cal | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | Good Boy | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | ✪ kas | 45% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kas | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Good Boy | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Cal | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | JoeP | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ kas | 412 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | HAXTON | 101 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cal | 64 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Good Boy | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | infopeek | 21 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Snowy™✔ csgogem.com | +1.31 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | ✪ kas | +0.84 | 63 | 72 |
| #3 | HAXTON | +0.18 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | Cal | -0.02 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | Good Boy | -1.19 | 69 | 59 |





