








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1279 | 41% |
| Smokes | 881 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 387 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 591 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $116,809 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Jesse | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Peckers | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | shadowmenace | 68% | 53 |
| #4 | Johnny219 | 67% | 52 |
| #5 | 守株待兔 | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Johnny219 | 67% | 52 |
| #5 | 守株待兔 | 65% | 23 |
| #6 | dink | 65% | 46 |
| #7 | Malexic | csgoroll.com | 64% | 11 |
| #8 | FRAQ-KTR | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shadowmenace | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Johnny219 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny219 | 172 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | shadowmenace | 152 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | 守株待兔 | 101 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | dink | 93 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Peckers | 70 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny219 | +2.54 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Malexic | csgoroll.com | +2.19 | 71 | 81 |
| #3 | FRAQ-KTR | +1.26 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | Just Jesse | +1.21 | 70 | 54 |
| #5 | ttv/icee_lahp | +1.16 | 84 | 70 |





