








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 202 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,523 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7447 | 22% |
| Smokes | 10373 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 10530 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6173 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,203,096 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 814 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillip K. Dog | 54% | 596 |
| #2 | SkyesJB | 53% | 135 |
| #3 | J.O.A.T. | 52% | 175 |
| #4 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 51% | 551 |
| #5 | Lehnburger | 49% | 508 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lehnburger | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Phillip K. Dog | 16 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | SkyesJB | 16 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | God's Only SOn | 11 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillip K. Dog | 2332 | 0.20 | 62 min |
| #2 | God's Only SOn | 1874 | 0.19 | 42 min |
| #3 | Lehnburger | 1839 | 0.18 | 45 min |
| #4 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 1518 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #5 | SkyesJB | 663 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimin stan | +2.84 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | Phillip K. Dog | +1.44 | 78 | 75 |
| #3 | SkyesJB | +0.68 | 73 | 50 |
| #4 | adPEXtwinDoNG | +0.19 | 59 | 62 |
| #5 | God's Only SOn | +0.17 | 81 | 60 |





