








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1237 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1665 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1885 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1186 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,394 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | authentic oat beverage | 44% | 36 |
| #9 | Jiffy | 43% | 23 |
| #10 | Webwipe | 41% | 22 |
| #11 | Lehnburger | 37% | 35 |
| #12 | Poopy Ass | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimin stan | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Phillip K. Dog | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | God's Only SOn | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | authentic oat beverage | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillip K. Dog | 492 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | God's Only SOn | 396 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 343 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | jimin stan | 311 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Lehnburger | 136 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimin stan | +2.92 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | Phillip K. Dog | +1.69 | 81 | 76 |
| #3 | Webwipe | +1.47 | 67 | 46 |
| #4 | adPEXtwinDoNG | +1.16 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | God's Only SOn | +0.54 | 81 | 58 |





