








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8997 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10045 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7858 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7786 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,372,191 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J.O.A.T. | 53% | 111 |
| #2 | C0UNCIL | 53% | 53 |
| #3 | Reuben | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | jimin stan | 49% | 504 |
| #5 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 47% | 471 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Lehnburger | 42% | 266 |
| #11 | Jiffy | 40% | 58 |
| #12 | BOOF | 39% | 57 |
| #13 | Poopy Ass | 38% | 80 |
| #14 | authentic oat beverage | 37% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillip K. Dog | 1851 | 0.21 | 48 min |
| #2 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 1285 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #3 | jimin stan | 971 | 0.10 | 28 min |
| #4 | Lehnburger | 851 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #5 | 4klift opr8r | 548 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0UNCIL | +3.32 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | jimin stan | +2.96 | 69 | 60 |
| #3 | Phillip K. Dog | +1.09 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | adPEXtwinDoNG | +0.86 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | God's Only SOn | +0.44 | 79 | 63 |





