








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 671 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5963 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6309 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5005 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6471 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,669,580 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 828 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reuben | 52% | 81 |
| #2 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 50% | 361 |
| #3 | Phillip K. Dog | 49% | 288 |
| #4 | Poopy Ass | 49% | 57 |
| #5 | J.O.A.T. | 48% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Phillip K. Dog | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | jimin stan | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | God's Only SOn | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Lehnburger | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phillip K. Dog | 1254 | 0.21 | 35 min |
| #2 | God's Only SOn | 1048 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #3 | adPEXtwinDoNG | 997 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #4 | Lehnburger | 487 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #5 | jimin stan | 447 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimin stan | +2.96 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | Phillip K. Dog | +1.90 | 77 | 78 |
| #3 | adPEXtwinDoNG | +1.23 | 60 | 62 |
| #4 | God's Only SOn | +0.56 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | J.O.A.T. | -0.46 | 59 | 55 |





