








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 528 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 229 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5020 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2885 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 5582 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5297 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,030,820 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⦮ Kelsey ⦯ | 56% | 85 |
| #2 | Lunar | 54% | 322 |
| #3 | Krabby Patty | 54% | 345 |
| #4 | inferno | 51% | 273 |
| #5 | BENJYMIN.jps | 50% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Krabby Patty | 54% | 345 |
| #4 | inferno | 51% | 273 |
| #5 | BENJYMIN.jps | 50% | 88 |
| #6 | noooobin | 47% | 38 |
| #7 | QueenJellyBean | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krabby Patty | 25 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | inferno | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Lunar | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | BENJYMIN.jps | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | QueenJellyBean | 6 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | inferno | 616 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Lunar | 382 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Krabby Patty | 296 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | ⦮ Kelsey ⦯ | 255 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | BENJYMIN.jps | 250 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BENJYMIN.jps | +8.01 | 97 | 40 |
| #2 | ⦮ Kelsey ⦯ | +2.78 | 58 | 57 |
| #3 | Krabby Patty | +2.04 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | Lunar | +0.85 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | K1NGA | -0.72 | 54 | 58 |





