








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 646 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 249 matches | ||
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 61,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11788 | 19% |
| Smokes | 19924 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 16484 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 12857 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,079,362 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magikarp | 50% | 120 |
| #2 | ark | 45% | 248 |
| #3 | strawbrry | 42% | 173 |
| #4 | BOOMAN⛟ | 40% | 210 |
| #5 | Ryuu | 38% | 527 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryuu | 1295 | 0.12 | 32 min |
| #2 | ark | 516 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | BOOMAN⛟ | 356 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | strawbrry | 353 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | inferno | 289 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ark | +7.82 | 77 | 77 |
| #2 | Magikarp | +7.42 | 92 | 54 |
| #3 | BOOMAN⛟ | +5.85 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | strawbrry | -0.56 | 37 | 49 |
| #5 | inferno | -0.93 | 38 | 44 |





