








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 797 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4881 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5710 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6844 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8083 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,022,899 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 654 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | BOOMAN⛟ | 48% | 212 |
| #10 | dunkr (eepy) | 44% | 96 |
| #11 | Yung Baby Ice Water | 38% | 61 |
| #12 | Ryuu | 36% | 64 |
| #13 | QueenJellyBean | 36% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dot :) | 31 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | RHF_ | 25 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | BOOMAN⛟ | 23 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | 𝕮𝖍𝖔𝖒𝖕 | 14 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Krabby Patty | 13 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1NGA | 438 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | QueenJellyBean | 361 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | BOOMAN⛟ | 259 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | ⦮ Kelsey ⦯ | 258 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Lunar | 247 | 0.06 | 5 min |





