








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 432 | 41% |
| Smokes | 229 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 267 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 134 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $276,710 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoodlesTheAsian | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | SunPigCatForce | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | Tyrant | 51% | 88 |
| #4 | Reroy | 45% | 56 |
| #5 | PonyoIsKing | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SunPigCatForce | 52% | 48 |
| #3 | Tyrant | 51% | 88 |
| #4 | Reroy | 45% | 56 |
| #5 | PonyoIsKing | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | Salty | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrant | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Reroy | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | PonyoIsKing | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Salty | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrant | 327 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | SunPigCatForce | 225 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | Salty | 34 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #4 | Reroy | 28 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | PonyoIsKing | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tyrant | +1.89 | 27 | 47 |
| #2 | SunPigCatForce | +1.26 | 51 | 60 |
| #3 | Reroy | -0.07 | 29 | 24 |
| #4 | Poomsta | -2.22 | 31 | 36 |
| #5 | PonyoIsKing | -2.24 | 5 | 14 |





