








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 320 | 20% |
| Smokes | 119 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 479 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 696 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,289 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dontavious Lamont | 100% | 7 |
| #2 | PonyoIsKing | 54% | 65 |
| #3 | Trench_Boi | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | SunPigCatForce | 52% | 87 |
| #5 | Tyrant | 51% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tyrant | 51% | 109 |
| #6 | NoodlesTheAsian | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | Poomsta | 45% | 56 |
| #8 | Salty | 24% | 34 |
| #9 | Fsxgaming1 | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PonyoIsKing | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Tyrant | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Poomsta | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Salty | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | SunPigCatForce | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SunPigCatForce | 398 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | Tyrant | 392 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Poomsta | 101 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Salty | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Trench_Boi | 58 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dontavious Lamont | +3.83 | 70 | 16 |
| #2 | SunPigCatForce | +1.40 | 54 | 58 |
| #3 | Tyrant | +1.25 | 28 | 47 |
| #4 | Reroy | +0.38 | 29 | 25 |
| #5 | PonyoIsKing | -1.15 | 6 | 15 |





