








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3355 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2082 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1320 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3177 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,632,457 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PonyoIsKing | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | SunPigCatForce | 55% | 77 |
| #3 | Dre, The Rat Bastard | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Reroy | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | Poomsta | 51% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Reroy | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | Poomsta | 51% | 88 |
| #6 | smeagol | 49% | 70 |
| #7 | Rub | 43% | 37 |
| #8 | fuspuss | 41% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuspuss | 16 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | smeagol | 11 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Poomsta | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Reroy | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Rub | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SunPigCatForce | 304 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | fuspuss | 151 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Poomsta | 149 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | smeagol | 64 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Reroy | 58 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rub | +5.62 | 80 | 48 |
| #2 | smeagol | +1.78 | 57 | 34 |
| #3 | Tyrant | +1.25 | 28 | 39 |
| #4 | SunPigCatForce | +0.69 | 50 | 58 |
| #5 | Reroy | -0.10 | 29 | 24 |





