










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 351 | 39% |
| Smokes | 285 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 220 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 47 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,316 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Semi Lรถllรถ | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | O T S O | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Laina-Takki Keskituuhea | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | eedspeaks+canadian masturbate | 54% | 54 |
| #5 | ๐๐ช๐ท๐ท๐พ | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eedspeaks+canadian masturbate | 165 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #2 | Semi Lรถllรถ | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | O T S O | 22 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | GargeFPS | 15 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | Laina-Takki Keskituuhea | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O T S O | +3.86 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | eedspeaks+canadian masturbate | +2.12 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | Laina-Takki Keskituuhea | +0.26 | 43 | 42 |
| #4 | jupe | -0.72 | 45 | 43 |
| #5 | Semi Lรถllรถ | -1.11 | 28 | 43 |





