








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2963 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3485 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2712 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1890 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,524 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laina-Takki Keskituuhea | 55% | 143 |
| #2 | jupe | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | O T S O | 51% | 118 |
| #4 | Valdemar | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Semi Lรถllรถ | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | O T S O | 51% | 118 |
| #4 | Valdemar | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Semi Lรถllรถ | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | GargeFPS | 48% | 80 |
| #7 | ๐๐ช๐ท๐ท๐พ | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laina-Takki Keskituuhea | 19 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | O T S O | 18 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | GargeFPS | 15 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | jupe | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ๐๐ช๐ท๐ท๐พ | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GargeFPS | 249 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | O T S O | 217 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Laina-Takki Keskituuhea | 108 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | jupe | 98 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Valdemar | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O T S O | +2.98 | 75 | 64 |
| #2 | eedspeaks+canadian masturbate | +1.74 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | jupe | -0.49 | 45 | 41 |
| #4 | GargeFPS | -1.03 | 47 | 56 |
| #5 | Semi Lรถllรถ | -1.37 | 38 | 34 |





