








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,555 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 922 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1155 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 650 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 828 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $561,557 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jupe | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Laina-Takki Keskituuhea | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | Simodeus | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | ETTU | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | 𝓗𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓾 | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 𝓗𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓾 | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | XxnegrowhipperxX | 50% | 50 |
| #7 | eedspeaks+canadian masturbate | 48% | 27 |
| #8 | O T S O | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | GargeFPS | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XxnegrowhipperxX | 15 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Simodeus | 9 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | ETTU | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | eedspeaks+canadian masturbate | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Laina-Takki Keskituuhea | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XxnegrowhipperxX | 83 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | eedspeaks+canadian masturbate | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | 𝓗𝓪𝓷𝓷𝓾 | 57 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Simodeus | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ETTU | 48 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | O T S O | +3.16 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | eedspeaks+canadian masturbate | +2.33 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | XxnegrowhipperxX | +1.41 | 44 | 10 |
| #4 | jupe | +0.81 | 30 | 52 |
| #5 | GargeFPS | +0.44 | 59 | 59 |





