








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 775 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 744 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




153 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5919 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5552 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6426 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6076 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,975 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aerocliq | 75% | 83 |
| #2 | srs | 73% | 94 |
| #3 | barrett | 73% | 60 |
| #4 | chunchy | 66% | 56 |
| #5 | Cache Man | 62% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | barrett | 73% | 60 |
| #4 | chunchy | 66% | 56 |
| #5 | Cache Man | 62% | 140 |
| #6 | zoe | 62% | 139 |
| #7 | roaldin | 58% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 33 | 0.0115 |
| #2 | zoe | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | chunchy | 12 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | barrett | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | roaldin | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 335 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | aerocliq | 251 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | chunchy | 205 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | srs | 136 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | barrett | 64 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | +5.33 | 76 | 50 |
| #2 | barrett | +3.07 | 81 | 41 |
| #3 | Bark Obamna | +1.51 | 41 | 45 |
| #4 | roaldin | +0.76 | 46 | 34 |
| #5 | aerocliq | +0.55 | 32 | 64 |





