








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 672 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 297 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1335 | 8% |
| Smokes | 3928 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7250 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 3300 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,167,296 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2895 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aerocliq | 74% | 174 |
| #2 | chunchy | 60% | 73 |
| #3 | Cache Man | 59% | 123 |
| #4 | Bark Obamna | 58% | 125 |
| #5 | zoe | 55% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bark Obamna | 29 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Francois Poupard Tard Lard Nards | 27 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Cache Man | 25 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | aerocliq | 20 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | zoe | 13 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | +4.58 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | roaldin | +2.27 | 64 | 25 |
| #3 | aerocliq | +1.33 | 37 | 62 |
| #4 | Bark Obamna | +0.12 | 38 | 47 |
| #5 | chunchy | +0.09 | 25 | 59 |





