








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 665 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




282 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10858 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2953 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 12271 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 5775 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,316,355 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2554 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Fj | 90% | 133 |
| #2 | shift | 85% | 169 |
| #3 | Salty Snake | 83% | 125 |
| #4 | Tuna | 82% | 127 |
| #5 | Orion | 78% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chunchy | 105 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | zoe | 45 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | sonk | 36 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Bark Obamna | 28 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | Orion | 27 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chunchy | 1312 | 0.19 | 33 min |
| #2 | aerocliq | 627 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #3 | sonk | 551 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | srs | 478 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | Orion | 366 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | +4.91 | 74 | 50 |
| #2 | Anthony | +3.99 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | Tuna | +3.83 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | barrett | +2.84 | 79 | 43 |
| #5 | Salty Snake | +2.38 | 66 | 42 |





