








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 804 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 143 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9584 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4298 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 8434 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8427 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,085,427 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1640 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aerocliq | 84% | 100 |
| #2 | Gordon ☢ Freesay | 84% | 85 |
| #3 | shift | 83% | 93 |
| #4 | Bark Obamna | 73% | 94 |
| #5 | Salty Snake | 72% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 64 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | chunchy | 34 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | zoe | 27 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Bark Obamna | 22 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | sonk | 21 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | 801 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | chunchy | 460 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | sonk | 342 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | aerocliq | 311 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Tuna | 289 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cache Man | +4.50 | 71 | 49 |
| #2 | Tuna | +3.70 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | criime w/ lime | +2.39 | 65 | 48 |
| #4 | Jimbob | +2.29 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | Gordon ☢ Freesay | +2.14 | 46 | 61 |





